I am still learning to decipher “Teenage-ese”
A widely spoken dialect, worldwide
Yet unique to those who have roamed the earth
For 13 to 19 years.
The first mystery is the vocabulary of this ancient tongue
It seems that there are only 7 words: “Uh-huh” “Nothing”
“Good” “Not” “Much” “Video” and “Games.”
As for tone, there appear to be two notes: low mumble and mid-range mumble
Excitement is hard to detect, shrouded in ambiguous grunts and mutterings
Unless a wrong is perceived, and then suddenly
This language acquires profound expressiveness
Through the boldly and repeatedly expressed phrase “Come on!”
Flowing conversations are not a traditional part
Of Teenage-ese oral traditions.
Long
Silences
And
Pauses
Seem integral to the communication style,
Creating regular tension with
Parent-ese, a language that insists
On constantly clear and emotionally appropriate communication.
And so, it is tempting to give up on Teenage-ese.
Grunts, groans and monotones
Fall prey to suggesting apathy.
But every so often, like the King in
“The King and I” who constantly exasperates his wife,
Teenage-ese succumbs to “something wonderful”
A single vulnerable phrase slips out despite
The best efforts of the native speaker.
An “I love you” evades the security system and tunnels underneath
The protective barbed wire of the teenage psyche.
If you are blessed
To catch this moment, grab it.
Security will soon catch up with the errant words.
And incarcerate them once again in the teenage brain.
And the mystery of Teenage-ese begins once again . . .
JB! This is the funniest post you have ever written! I loved reading it! I will remember this well once Caleb and Naomi become teenagers. Haha! Hilarious! 🙂
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Wow, thanks a lot Kurlz! Glad you enjoyed it. Every stage is an adventure. Look forward to your Caleb/Naomi stories;)
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Jonathan, what a treat to have read such a witty post! The grin never abated… 🙂
Yet, humor aside, the poem has depth and is unequivocal about today’s teenage vernacular. Reflections give way to concerns, followed by smiles which then hint at yesteryears’—our very own—histrionics. The “parallel gap in language” (Wikipedia) throughout the generations suggests an unabashed viewpoint, but one where “teenage-ese” variable emotions, rather than total indifference, is central.
The “parent-ese” apparent knee-jerk reaction to the phenomenon, all the more humorous.
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Thank you Kenel! I also appreciate the “parallel gap” phrase you introduced. Humor can open up unexpected lines of thought and reflection, one of the most meaningful purposes of comedy, I think . . .
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